Q. Are we suppose to tip the minister?
Rev. Dave: It's ok to tip us if you want. We charge you a fair price to do a good job for you, but we do not expect a gratuity. However, if we do exceed your expectations, feel free and if our staff is with us, we make sure to share with them.

Q. What will the ceremony be like?
Rev. David: When you obtain our services, we will give you a packet of sample ceremony selections. You get to pick what you want in your ceremony - right down to the word.

Rev. Rox: You let us know what you want ten (10) days prior to your wedding date. You can call us, email us or use our Ceremony Sheet Form.

Q. What don't you do?
Rev. Rox: I don't sacrifice anything, because I don't cook. I don't jump out of anything because I don't fly and I don't perform ceremonies naked because after two babies, this body isn't for display.

Rev. David: I would agree with the sacrifice, but I'm willing to jump out of an airplane! We will wear Hawaiian or Renaissance attire for theme-weddings. We also reserve the right to review the ceremony for content. If it doesn't belong in mixed company, then it probably doesn't belong in a wedding.

Q. Can I set up an appointment to meet with you?
Rev. David: Yes. We feel it is important to meet with us. It gives us a chance to explain our services and contract. This is not a meeting where we "test" couples to determine whether or not they should be united in marriage. It is really more of a "test" to see if you like one of us well enough to be the one to marry you.

Rev. Rox: But we don't pressure you into deciding on our services. We hold your wedding date for seven (7) days from the date of our meeting. This will give you a chance to interview other ministers and discuss your options with each other.

Q. Do I need a blood test?
Rev. Rox: As of January 1, 1995, a blood test is no longer needed to obtain a marriage license.

Q. Where do I get a marriage license?
Rev. David: A couple can pick one up at the county clerk's office. Here's a list of county clerk's offices for Northern California. We also have information on how to change your name through Social Security.

Q. What is a Handfasting Ceremony?
Rev. Rox: Handfasting is a very old ceremony ritual that was performed for a couple. During the ceremony their wrists were tied together. (Hence, the expression: "tying the knot".) In some ceremonies, this is only done for as long as the ceremony lasts, but in others, the cord is not untied until the marriage is physically consummated. This ceremony meant that the couple could live as 'man and wife' for one year and one day. After that time, they could decide if they wanted to legally be married. Sort of like a trial marriage. Today, the Handfasting Ceremony can be a ritual performed during the actual wedding ceremony.

Rev. Dave: And you thought our parents' generation invented "living together".

Q. Do you perform Commitment Ceremonies/Same-Sex Ceremonies?
Rev. Rox: Yes, if we are available. I can even notorize the Declaration of Domestic Partnership Form.

For those who think a Commitment Ceremony are only for same-sex marriages, let me tell you something that may help you or your single mom or dad one day: a male/female couple where one/or both are over the age of 62 and meet the eligibility criteria under Title II of the Social Security Act can also be eligible for a Commitment Ceremony in leiu of a wedding ceremony.

Q. What is a Best Man called if he is a woman?
Rev. Dave: The proper term is Honor Attendant. You shouldn't call her the Best Woman. Who is the Best Woman of your special day? The Bride!

Rev. Rox: Same goes if your Maid of Honor is a man - don't call him Man of Honor. The Man of Honor is marrying the bride, right???

Rev. Dave: OK, we aren't going to get 'hung up' on titles, but people ask and we have seen our share of weddings where there are people and animals on both sides. How they walk in and out and with who? We work that out at the Rehearsal.

Q. What is the difference between a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor?
Rev. Dave: The only difference is that the Matron of Honor is/was married and the Maid of Honor has not been married yet. If the Matron of Honor is now single and wants to be called a Maid of Honor, let her have the title. She will have other things to fight over - like catching that bouquet!

Q. Is the Rehearsal like the Ceremony without the guests?
Rev. David: Not our rehearsals.

Rev. Rox: Well we don't want to give away any surprises...

Rev. David: What about giving up one?

Rev. Rox: OK...how about the practice vows. No, we'll tell them about the buttons: We will provide Rehearsal Buttons for your bridal party.

Rev. David: It helps us not to mix up the moms of the bride and groom!

Q. Do you accept credit cards?
Rev. David: We can accept VISA, Mastercard and American Express.

Rev. Rox: And we accept checks.

Rev. David: Cash too!

Q. Do I have to have the part in the ceremony "anyone has cause why this couple should not be united in marriage, they must speak now or forever hold their peace" or "love, honor and obey" parts in the wedding ceremony?

Rev. David: This is your ceremony and you should feel comfortable with what is said for your Special Day.

Rev. Rox: We will give you a ceremony selections and you can make any changes to any section.

Rev. David: Some couples feel better saying "Holy Spirit" instead of "Holy Ghost".

Rev. Rox: And we have had ouples not wanting any reference to God. Your beliefs are your own and personal, so you should have your wedding day to reflect this.

Q. Should I provide you with a corsage/boutonniere?
Rev. David: It's not necessary. Some couples do give us a corsage or boutonniere to wear since we are in a lot of your wedding photos.

Rev. Rox: And we save the flowers we receive. We dry them and add them to our "wedding wreath".

Q. What are your wedding pet peeves?
Rev. David: My biggest pet peeve is when tulle runs from the first pew (or chair) all the way back to the last row down the aisle, blocking your guests from exiting down the center aisle after the ceremony. The bridal party has already walked down. The parents from the first row have walked down. so now your guests (half of which probably attend church every week) are in the habit of exiting down the center aisle. The solution is to simply have a piece of tulle tied across the aisle at the last row. This will discourage your guests from entering the center aisle and can be easily removed prior to the bridal party to walk down the center aisle.

Rev. Rox: My wedding pet peeve...sound. You spend all this time planning the biggest day of your life. You invite family and friends to witness this great occasion, but you also want them to hear the ceremony and you taking your vows. I can speak loudly, but you don't want me "shouting" in your ear.

Make sure you hire a D.J. who can properly support your ceremony with music AND sound. The minister and the groom should be mic'ed with wireless lapel microphones. A handheld or corded microphone for readers should be considered as well. And never, never have a microphone with a stand placed between the bride, groom and minister. It will show up in all your pictures as a "fourth person" standing at the altar between you.

Rev. Dave: Have another question? Please email us.